Sweetest Taboo Read online

  "What's going on?" I pray my voice sounds normal.

  He shifts his gaze to me, then lifts an eyebrow. "What's going on? Apparently a hell of a lot more than you bothered to tell me when we were married."

  My stomach twists as I realize that he learned about both my kidnapping and what happened between Dallas and me in that cell from the tabloids. "Bill, I'm so, so sorry. We--we should talk."

  "No," he says harshly, then turns back to face Dallas. "You're the one I need to talk with right now."

  "All right," Dallas said, sitting on the sofa and not bothering to offer Bill a chair. "You want to talk? Let's talk."

  Bill glanced toward the bedroom, where Jane had excused herself, but not before shooting Dallas a worried look. He'd simply brushed a kiss over her lips, certain he looked passably nonchalant.

  But while he'd had years of practice camouflaging his nerves, that didn't change the fact that right now he was worried. What did Bill suspect? More to the point, what could Bill prove?

  "I'd rather talk somewhere else. Do you have an office? Is there a common area in the building we can use?"

  "It's a one-bedroom apartment, Bill. In case you missed the memo, Jane and I recently saw the tide turn in our fortunes. But have a seat." Now he did gesture to the sofa. All things considered it probably made more sense to at least be cordial to the man. "We can talk here."

  "It's just that Jane..." He drifted off, glancing toward the closed bedroom door.

  "Is that what this is about?" Dallas leaned back, purposely not crossing his arms over his chest. He wanted to look open, not closed off. And most definitely not defensive. "My relationship with Jane?"

  "No. Well, yes, in a way. I just don't think that what I have to say is something you want her to overhear."

  "Bill, you're trying my patience. Whatever you have to say to me you can say to Jane." No worry here. Nothing to hide at all. "So come on. What's got you so worked up you came all the way up from Washington to see me? Frankly, I don't think there's been a day in your life where I was the man at the top of your list. Except that one time. What was that, again?" He pulled a frown. "Oh, wait, I remember. When you decided to investigate my kidnapping against my wishes."

  "I remember that, too," Bill said, still standing. "I wondered why you were so intent on blocking that investigation."

  "Oh, I don't know. Maybe because you were fucking around in my life without my permission?"

  "Possibly. Or it could be that you were afraid that investigating your kidnapping would lead down all sorts of strange rabbit holes."

  Dallas felt his stomach clench and told himself to just keep breathing. "If you're going to talk in riddles, Bill, you're going to have to come up with something cleverer. Or at least clearer."

  "You want clarity?" He took two steps forward. If Dallas had been standing, they would have been nose to nose. "How's this? I think you didn't want WORR or the FBI investigating because you were afraid we'd learn about Deliverance. How's that for some fucking clarity?"

  "Deliverance?" Shit, shit, goddamn motherfucking shit. "You're talking about that vigilante organization that Jane's focusing on in her upcoming book? What the hell does that have to do with me?"

  "A lot, I'm thinking. And if you've dragged Jane down into any of your sordid shit, Dallas, I swear to god I'll--"

  "What?" Dallas was on his feet, because as soon as Bill brought Jane into this, the gloves were off. "What the hell do you think I'm doing? And why the hell would you think I've dragged her anywhere?"

  Bill actually laughed. "Are you kidding me? Do you think I haven't checked you out fully? Do you think I don't know who your real father is?"

  "You son of a--"

  "And then you stoop so low as to seduce your sister..."

  "You have no idea what we are to each other." He ground out each word, a vile anger bubbling inside him. "No idea how we saved each other."

  "I know you poisoned her," Bill countered. "Not physically, maybe, but you destroyed her all the same."

  "No," he said. "No. I saved her. And whether you understand it or not, she saved me." He strode forward, getting in the other man's face. "She loves me, Bill, and that's what you can't stand. That you never really had her. That she was always mine, even when you called her wife."

  Bill blanched, but otherwise didn't falter. "Maybe so. Maybe she doesn't love me. But that's too bad, because she damn sure picked the wrong man. What is she going to do when you're locked away? Because you will be, Dallas. I've been asking questions. Lots of questions. And guess what? I'm starting to find answers, too."

  He took a step closer. "Think about that, Dallas." His voice was low. Threatening. "Because I promise you--I damn sure will be."

  "You heard all that?"

  I've stepped quietly from the bedroom and into the living room to find Dallas standing by the window. He hasn't turned to look at me. He's just standing, frozen, looking toward the roof of the next building over and at the tiny sliver of Central Park we can see in the distance.

  I come up behind him and curve my arms around his waist, then rest my head on his back. "He can't prove anything," I say. "He's just guessing. Positioning. It's more about me than about you."

  He turns, then kisses me tenderly before leaning back to look into my eyes. "That's true. But he'll be like a dog with a bone on this, because he knows he's right even if he can't prove it. Yet. And he'll keep digging and digging. He won't give up, Jane. He won't give up because of you."

  I swallow, suddenly cold, because he's right.

  "He'll keep at it until he gets enough proof to arrest me, and once that happens, I'm done. Hell, I'm essentially done now, because he damn sure has me under surveillance."

  "Dallas, no." I understand what he's saying--it makes perfect sense--and yet I can't quite process it. This is who Dallas is. What he is. And yes, I understand the irony of that thought. Because god knows I believed Deliverance was vile in the beginning. But that was before my eyes were opened, and now I understand what Deliverance does, not to mention how Dallas's role in that mission has shaped the man he's become.

  "If he can prove this," Dallas says gravely, "he'll have me in a cage so fast it makes both our heads spin."

  I swallow and cling to his arms. He bends forward, then pulls me to him and holds me tight. "After all this," he says, "after everything we've been through, I can't stand the thought that this is what breaks us."

  "If it comes to that, we leave," I say recklessly. "We run." I can't bear the thought of being without him, either.

  But Dallas only laughs. "Break another rule? Embarrass the family again? Take you away from Lisa forever? From Brody and Liam and Archie? Baby, I said I would protect you always, and I meant it. Even if that means protecting you from my mistakes."

  "It won't happen," I say firmly. "I'll talk to Bill. I'll fight. We'll make Daddy hire the best attorneys, and--" I cut myself off on a sob.

  "We have to tell them," I say. "About Colin and Adele for sure. Maybe about everything."

  Dallas nods. "I know. Even if Adele's flown the coop, we still need to tell Mom and Dad about her. And about Colin. They need to know."

  "Dad will feel vindicated," I predict. "But Mom--Dallas, it's going to completely wreck her."

  "It will," he agrees, looking as miserable as I feel. "But what choice do we have?" he asks, and I have no answer. Because he is right.

  It is time. Time to break our mother's heart.

  He learned from Archie that his parents were spending the week in their Park Avenue apartment, and he said a silent thank-you that they didn't have to drive all the way to the Hamptons.

  Then again, when the taxi pulled up in front of the stately pre-war building, Dallas almost wished they still had a few hours to go. He wasn't ready to dump this truth on his parents. Hell, he doubted he'd ever be ready. From the way Jane was sitting beside him, her fingers twined so tight in his that her knuckles were white, he knew she felt the same.

  "Come on," he said. "Let
's do this."

  Considering the width and breadth of his father's banishment of them, he almost feared that Charlie, the doorman, would turn them away, even though Jane had called from the car to tell Lisa they had something to talk about and were on their way over. But while Dallas was certain the man he'd known for years had pity in his eyes, his professional demeanor never faltered. He rang the apartment to announce them, nodded in confirmation, then called the elevator for them.

  He and Jane stepped on together, and the moment the doors closed she lifted herself onto her toes and kissed him. "For luck," she said.

  Lisa stood in the foyer when the elevator door opened, her arms wide to draw them both in. She hugged them tight and whispered, "Just give him time. Give him time."

  She was talking, of course, about Eli, who stood behind her, his arms crossed over his chest, and a scowl cut deep into his face. "I assume this is about your relationship," Eli said as he led them into the den. "And your inheritance."

  "No, sir," Dallas said. He glanced at Jane, who gave him a small smile as if for strength. "It's about Colin. And it's about Adele."

  Lisa's eyes darted between the two of them. "Is he dead? Oh, dear god, did something happen to Colin? Adele must be a wreck. She's called almost every day wondering if I've heard from him. I can't say I've ever liked that woman much, but I can tell she's scared to death for him."

  "He's missing," Dallas began. "But not in the way you think."

  "What do you mean?"

  "Bill told us the FBI is after him," Jane said. "We figure the FBI's either found him, someone he crossed found him, or he's on the run."

  "What did I say?" Eli commented. "Didn't I tell you he got his hands into something dirty again. What is it? More tax fraud?"

  "Kidnapping," Dallas said flatly, as Jane moved to sit by Lisa and take her hand. "Our kidnapping."

  "What?" Lisa blinked, confused. "What do you mean your kidnapping?"

  "He was behind it, Mom," Jane said gently. "Colin was the man behind our kidnapping."

  Across the room, Eli made a noise that was something between a cough and a cry. He looked between all of them, his face turning an almost comic shade of red. Then he picked up a Tiffany vase that must have cost a fortune and hurled it across the room where it shattered on the tile in front of the fireplace.

  "Eli!"

  But he didn't answer. He didn't do anything except march out of the room, leaving his wife and his children behind.

  Lisa started to rise, but Jane tugged her down. "No. You know Daddy. Give him a minute."

  Lisa nodded. They all knew Eli. His temper was usually a slow burn, but sometimes it burst out with dragon-like fury. He'd work through it and come back and comfort his wife. Until then, Dallas and Jane would take care of Lisa.

  "Are you sure? Maybe there's been a mistake."

  Jane caught Dallas's eye, and he saw the unspoken question: how much could they tell her?

  "Of course there hasn't been a mistake." Eli's deep voice resonated through the room, and Dallas turned to see his father standing in the doorway. Tall and proud and pissed as hell. "Of course he did it. We should have seen it. We should have known." He crossed the room and sat next to Lisa, then pulled her into his arms, a limp, weary woman compared to his strong, angry resiliency.

  "He did it to punish us," Eli continued. "He did it to hurt you. To hurt me. It was never about the children."

  "No." She tilted her head up. "No, he would never do that to Jane. Or to Dallas," she added, but from the way she blinked, Dallas could see that she wasn't quite sure. That part of her believed it, and understood. "No," she repeated. "I was his wife. I would know if he was capable of that."

  "He's a psychopath," Eli said, stroking her hair. "He knew--knows--how to hide."

  "It's worse," Jane said. "We--we think Adele is involved, too. We--we wanted you to know in case she contacts you. Right now she's on the run--we know she's gone to London. But who knows how long she'll stay there, and she may reach out to you. But don't see her, Mom. If she wants to have lunch, come up with an excuse. But whatever you do, don't see her."

  For a moment, even Eli was speechless. Dallas got that--it was a hell of a reality to absorb in just moments.

  Then Lisa shook her head violently, as if that was the only way to silence the noise inside. Then she stood. "I--I have to go. I need to walk."

  "Darling, no." Eli held her hand between his, and Dallas saw so much love and concern in his eyes that for that one moment in time, he forgave his father every wrong. "Stay here. Lie down. I'll make you a drink."

  But she pressed her lips together and shook her head. "No, I'm okay, truly. Well, no, I'm not. But I need air. I just want fresh air. I'll only go across the street. But I'm feeling trapped, Eli. I need--"

  "I'll walk with you, Mom," Dallas said.

  "No." Eli's voice was firm. "Please," he said less forcefully. "Jane can go with her mother. I'd like to speak to you."

  Dallas glanced toward Jane, who hooked her arm through Lisa's. "Come on, Mom. Why don't we walk to the park?"

  Dallas knew they were tempting the paparazzi, but he could tell Lisa needed to get out, and Jane gave him a nod, letting him know she was up for it. Thankfully, he didn't have to worry about Adele or her cohort. They were an entire ocean away.

  Dallas and Eli watched them go, and as they disappeared behind the elevator's doors, Dallas felt some of the weight of the day leave him, too. Yes, he was numb. But at the same time it felt good to tell them at least part of the truth. To give them some closure even if the circumstances were horrible.

  There was more to tell, of course. They were still holding tight to the secret about Deliverance. About Bill breathing down his neck. But that was for later. Maybe--if they got lucky with Bill and his band of merry investigators--that discussion could even be tabled indefinitely.

  Right now, though, neither Bill nor Deliverance mattered. All Dallas wanted was to hear what his dad had to say. He knew better than to get his hopes up, but he couldn't help the tiny voice that suggested that the only reason his dad would want to see him alone would be to discuss Dallas's proposal about rescinding the adoption.

  "This is going to be hard on your mother," Eli said as they moved from the foyer back to the den and sat down.

  "Very," Dallas said. "She was married to him for years. She never knew how far he would go."

  He understood that. It wasn't the same as his situation with Adele, of course. But close enough that he could empathize with his mother. That he would understand how blind and vulnerable and foolish she was feeling.

  "We weren't responsible, your mother and I."

  Dallas cocked his head. "I'm sorry?"

  "It was good we terminated his rights," Eli continued. "Maybe that set him off--maybe that flipped the switch and made him go after you--but we couldn't have known it would end up that way."

  Dallas blinked, not sure if he should feel angry that his father was trying to exonerate himself, or sad that Eli felt so much guilt that he was trying to now dig his way clear. In the end, he just felt sad, and a little exhausted.

  "Dad," he said. "Of course you weren't responsible. Neither was I and neither was Jane. Colin's the guilty one."

  "Damn right. The man's a lunatic. Who knows what he would have done to Jane if we hadn't filed the termination papers? If our Jane lived part of every year under that monster's roof? Sometimes it's best to end things."

  "Yes, sir."

  "I've been thinking about you and Jane," he continued, and Dallas felt a glimmer of hope. Surely that meant he'd been thinking about the rescission.

  "First of all, I want to put you back on the payroll. Return to some level of normalcy, and move on."

  Dallas swallowed, hoping that was possible, but fearing it never would be. Not with Bill out there hunting him.

  Still, he spoke the truth when he said, "I'd like that."

  "I thought so. I hoped so. And I want you as chief operating officer of either our UK or Ge
rman division." He paused and looked at Dallas expectantly. "Well? What do you think?"

  Dallas frowned, uncertain. "You think Jane and I would be less in the public eye overseas?"

  The minute he said the words, he knew that he'd entirely misread the situation.

  "Jane would be here, most likely in her house in LA. That's what you two need, Dallas. What this family needs. Time. Distance."

  Dallas stood, propelled to his feet by the force of his fury, a rage he just barely kept under control. "How the hell can you not get it? She's the love of my life. We'd already be married if it weren't for the adoption. And time and distance isn't going to change that. Hell, I wouldn't want it to, and neither would she."

  "Calm down, boy. You're being--"

  "I'm not being anything but honest. You can't just--"

  His goddamn phone rang, but since it was Liam, he held up a finger to his dad. "What?" he snapped.

  "She doubled back, Dallas. The bitch doubled back after she landed in London. Do you understand? She's in New York. Adele's somewhere in the city right now."

  Liam was still talking as Dallas raced for the service stairs, not willing to wait for the elevator. He was breathless when he burst into the lobby after running down eight flights, but he didn't stop.

  He hurled himself toward the door, only to find Charlie hurrying toward him with almost as much speed.

  "Where are they?"

  "There was a van." Charlie gulped in air. "A van hit your mother in the intersection. She's still there. I've called 911 and a doctor on the sidewalk rushed to help."

  "Jane," he demanded. "What about Jane?"

  Charlie's eyes went wide. "Gone! A man got out of the van and grabbed her, and then drove away. I didn't know what to do. I told the 911 dispatcher and cops are coming, too, and I--"

  But though he kept on talking, Dallas didn't hear a word. His head was too full of rage, and his heart was too full of fear.

  My head is pounding when I wake, and though I try to open my eyes, I can only manage to squint. Dozens of spotlights are aimed right at me, and I can see nothing except pure white light and faint spectral arcs in my periphery that seem to be dancing and leaping.

  I'm dizzy, and I remember being stabbed with a needle. Some sort of hallucinogen, I think, considering the way the world seems to be all wonky.